she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
