I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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