If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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