i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
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im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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