he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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