Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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