Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize