I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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