anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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