Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
