Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
