You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
