my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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