just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
