and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
