My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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