You're so nebulous sometimes
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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