maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
