How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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