Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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