hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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