Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
