So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize