So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
