did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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