Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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