it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
