I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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