Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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