I want to walk on stilts...naked
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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