well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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