When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
