Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
