so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
