Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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