found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
