He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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