my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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