I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
