U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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