Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
