I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i've created a new STD.
Randomize
