I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Sober January is a disaster.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize