season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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