Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
