So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
