I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
this hospital has no fireball
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
