I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We're too hungover to prance.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
