i was born a porn star she said
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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