you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
