I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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