Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
