It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
