Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She bit a glass in half.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
