i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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