I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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