i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
