You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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