Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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