No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
