i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
