I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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