I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
