i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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